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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one of the most popular utilized evidenced based therapies in the mental health profession today, pairing it with the ability to conduct session online, makes it a winning combination! CBT can be applied to varying types of problems that people experience in their lives. From depression, anxiety, eating disorders, phobias, addictions, stress and much more.

The 3 way’s iCBT can help boost your confidence:

1. Accessibility

Don’t have time to spend an hour each week going to a therapist’s office?

Having easier accessibility may encourage a client to access therapy more readily than the traditional mode. Attending online therapy and engaging in self-reflection, awareness and understanding of one’s concerns, and learning how to resolve this, helps the client become more confident in their own abilities.

2. Anonymity

The online modality provides the client with a perception of anonymity, how does that help build confidence? Well for one thing, it breaks downs a ‘nervous’ factor that a client may have with opening up to deeper issues.

Being online provides a veil of anonymity to the client, helping them become more at ease in the session and have an open factor in their communication. The therapeutic relationship is important in all therapy settings, but studies are showing there is something in an online exchange that allows the client to perceive this anonymity, perhaps it’s the fact you’re not sitting right across from an another individual and having thoughts split into what you want to say, as well as thinking about what you think that other person is thinking. One less thing to think about builds your own confidence level in being able to share your information.

3. Awareness

Our thoughts play a big role in how confident we feel, and so if we break down these perceptions, therefore if being online helps a person feel more relaxed and ready to open up, then their thought process changes. They share what they are concerned about, and as a result begin the healing process, the change process, the self love process, all of which turns the negative thoughts of the client into positive ones. It’s those positive healing, reflective, self loving words to ourselves that helps build that confidence feeling within.  

Online therapy will definitely widen the playing field in the mental health industry. Having CBT as the forefront therapy used in this environment will prove beneficial and effective for all, not just for the individual or the therapist, but for our society as a whole!

Book a free consultation with a therapist for online therapy today!

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The good news is that we are all able to connect with our inner child if we give ourselves permission. When we connect with the most vulnerable and sensitive parts of ourselves, we can heal what was once wounded. Here are a few exercises to connect with your inner child!

1. Write a letter to your younger self

Writing a letter to your younger self is a comforting way you can reconnect with the child within you. This might feel unnatural at first, but once you take that pen to paper you will be surprised at how much you need to say! You might want to write a letter of apology, or just let your younger self know how proud you are of them…how far they have come despite challenges, and what they can look forward to in life. Treat your younger self like the pen pal you have been disconnected from for so long. What do you miss most about your relationship? Keep this letter with you and read it when you need it most. It will serve as a reminder that you are stronger than you think!

2. Listen to your feelings…your inner child is trying to talk to you!

In order to heal from difficult experiences, we need to remain in touch with our emotions. Our feelings always tell a story. When we experience challenging emotions, this paints a picture of our inner child’s deepest fears or insecurities. When you notice that you are tempted to react to situations in unhealthy ways, take a moment and acknowledge what you are feeling. Identify the feeling and allow it to enter your thoughts without judgement. Ask yourself what is making you feel that way, and how you can react in ways that resolve the conflict your inner child is having.

3. Meditate

Meditation is a powerful tool you can use to visit your inner child. Take the time to find a quiet space where you can connect. You can use audio for guided meditation, or if you have more practice in mindfulness meditation you can do this independently.

This can be an incredibly healing experience as it allows you to essentially “time travel” to a period of your childhood where support was needed most. You can “parent”  your younger self, and provide them with the validation, guidance, affection, support, or reassurance that they might not have received when they were younger. Let them know that they are loved and safe, and that you are always there for them. This helps in healing parts of ourselves to become “unstuck” from any feelings of rejection, resentment, or self-destructive beliefs.

4. Play!

When we allow ourselves to be playful, the joy within us acts as a powerful agent in awakening our inner child! Sometimes the responsibilities of an adult world can be overbearing and further hinder our inner child from blooming. No activity is ever too childish! Allow self-expression and creativity by engaging in activities that your younger self found joy in. Maybe that’s blasting music in your room and having a dance party, splashing different colours of paint on a canvas, or playing hide and seek. 

When we experience trauma, these dysfunctional patterns from our childhood are difficult to mend. If you would like to speak to a therapist to help with this healing process. We are here to listen.

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Ask open-ended questions (If they’re not sharing, they’re storing) 

Suicidal thoughts are heavy to carry. They are often harboured with feelings of so much shame, failure, or hopelessness. When we create a space that invites someone to be heard, the weight becomes less for them to carry, and a discussion becomes more productive. When supporting someone through their pain, the only way to explore and foster healing is for the discussion to be less isolated and more expansive. Open-ended questions invite the opportunity for an individual to expand on their feelings.

Rather than asking questions with a simple “yes” or “no” response, if we suspect that someone is considering suicide, we can ask questions such as “How have you been feeling lately?”, “What has been the most challenging for you?”, “When did you start feeling this way?” or “What happened next?”. Remember that asking these questions requires you to give someone your time and full attention. Be patient and present with them, allowing them to reflect on some of the challenging emotions they have been experiencing. 

You don’t have to avoid the word “suicide”

When we choose our words too carefully, sometimes we will unintentionally stigmatize. If someone is suicidal, even if the topic is uncomfortable, we want to express that we are open to talking about it rather than associating the topic with shame. 

MYTH: Talking about suicide to someone at-risk will encourage suicide attempts. Research on suicide prevention has shown that bringing up suicide to someone who is considering it will not put them at any more risk. In fact, it can actually help someone regulate. Don’t be afraid to be direct and inquire about it when necessary. If you are recognizing warning signs, after using some open-ended questioning, you can ask someone “are you having any suicidal thoughts or plans?”, or “Have you felt like wanting to end your life?”. 

Take them seriously 

Many individuals will carry pain in silence, with the fear that their distress won’t be taken seriously. Brushing off someone’s suicidal thoughts will undermine and invalidate their distress, likely making them reluctant to seek help. It is best (and safest) that you acknowledge the pain they are going through and validate their struggles – especially with someone at high risk. If someone opens up to you about their pain, respond to them with comfort rather than feedback or trying to “fix” the situation. Someone in crisis might not always respond best to solution-oriented language. Genuine validation and compassion is more effective in de-escalating. Rather than offering them suggestions around how they can feel better, you can say things like:

• “This must be so hard for you. Everything you are telling me makes sense, and I can understand how it must be making you feel this way.”
• “I want to offer support in any way that I can. You can talk to me.”
• “What do you need from me right now? Things have been hard for you.”
• “I hear you, and it takes strength to talk about this.”

Gently encourage professional help

When offering support, it is important to recognize your limits. A professional trained to support individuals with suicidal ideations might be needed. Let them know that although you are always there to listen, you want to make sure that they are offered the proper support. Offer them some resources if they require assistance, and reinforce the idea that seeking help is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of strength. 

If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, you can book a free 15-minute consultation to speak with one of our therapists. If you or someone you know is at imminent risk of suicide, visit your local emergency department or call 911.

Mental Helpline: 1-877-303-3642

CMHA Distress Centre: 1-800-232-7288

Kids Help Line: 1-800-668-6868

Addiction Helpline: 1-866-332-23-22

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Social anxiety involves an intense fear or anxiety of being watched, judged, or humiliated by others in social situations. This fear or anxiety is so intense that it gets in the way of living your life — completing day-to-day tasks or being able to interact socially. Someone with social anxiety will avoid situations that most people consider normal.

How do I know if my child is struggling with social anxiety?

Though social anxiety can appear at any age, most cases begin to appear around age 13 — an age where social “uneasiness” is quite common. The greatest indicator of your child having social anxiety is if fear or anxiety prevents your child from social interaction and/or from doing regular daily tasks including academics, personal/school relationships, and life enjoyment. 

Risk Factors

Ways your child may be at greater risk of developing social anxiety:

–   Exposure to negative social experiences such as bullying and rejection

–   Other negative life events such as loss of a loved one, relationship conflict, and trauma or abuse;

–   Temperament including shyness, withdrawal in new situations/people

–   Academic or social demands such as public speaking, school presentations, meeting new people

–   Family history (if a sibling or biological parent has social anxiety)

Behavioural Indications

Your child may be struggling with social anxiety if they avoid or have difficulty with:

–   Talking to strangers

–   Speaking in public

–   Making eye contact

–   Entering rooms

–   Eating in front of others

–   Going to school

–   Starting conversations

Physical Symptoms

When triggered, your child’s social anxiety may present itself in the following ways:

–   Increased heartbeat

–   Headache, dizziness, or light headedness

–   Stomach aches

–   Difficulty breathing

–   “Out of body” experience

Effects of Social Anxiety

Your child’s social anxiety may impact other areas of their life such as:

–   Low self-esteem

–   Negative self-talk or depression

–   Isolation from peers or difficulty forming new social relationships

–   Low academic performance

–   Suicide or attempted suicide

How can I help my child?

1. Share Your Experiences

Comfort your child by sharing your experiences of anxiety and how you face these feelings. Create a warm environment for your child to reciprocate their experiences of anxiety.

patient with your child. Imagine how difficult it may be for your child to appear “weak” or as if there’s something wrong with them. Give your child time and space to open up to you. Remember, everyone is different. Your child may respond differently to particular triggers or environments than you do. Be flexible with them and remain compassionate.

1. Help Them Connect the Dots

It can be scary to always feel fearful and anxious in situations and not know why. Help your child identify the triggers. Is this only school related? Only with new people? With peers? Be specific and clearly identify what it is creating this fear such as public speaking, finding someone to play with at recess, visiting new environments.

What happens in these fearful moments? Help your child understand the emotions they experience. Is it fear, worry, embarrassment, disappointment, guilt? This way your child can begin using the right term when sharing their feelings and experiences, improving your communication with your child and problem-solving. Knowing your child’s specific emotions will also help you suggest appropriate strategies to tackle these emotions.

Dive deeper. Ask your child about their worries. Help paint the picture for your child. Ask them, “What makes you think everyone will laugh at you?” “What would happen if you made a mistake?” “Who are you worried about disappointing?”

1. Focus on Your Child’s Strengths and Interests

Your child may find great difficulty in doing particular social activities, which may make them feel incapable or not good enough. Assure your child of the strengths they possess and focus on uplifting them with those. Take time to highlight their passions and hobbies, and encourage them to spend time on the things that bring them joy and confidence!

1. Work with Your Child on Overcoming Social Anxiety

Start small. Try one thing at a time and see what works and what doesn’t. Remember, everyone is different, so be patient with your child. Here are some techniques you can suggest to your child and ask to do with them:

–   Breathing techniques

–   Exercise and muscle relaxation

–   Positive self-talk (respond to negative thoughts)

Prevention

There’s no certain way to predict whether your child develops social anxiety, nor to prevent social anxiety entirely. However, here are some steps you can take as a parent to help reduce the severity of symptoms:

–   Encourage your child to journal — Reflecting can help your child identify stressors in their environment as well as what seems to help them feel better

–   Help your child prioritize their issues — Learning to manage time and energy can help reduce anxiety. Be sure to help your child make time for the things they enjoy.

–   Ask your child if they want help — Don’t be afraid to suggest professional help for your child. However, remember that this is their decision to make. Your role is to provide options and support their decisions.

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What is resilliency?

Resiliency is the ability to cope or recover from uncertainty and hardship. People with resiliency tend to bounce back faster and with less stress or anxiety. This doesn’t mean that a resilient person doesn’t experience the intensity of life adversities, it means they have a pretty good handle on how to deal with these quicker than others. 

Everyone has resilience — it’s only a matter of how much you have and how well you use it. In fact, we can learn to practice resiliency daily to help us get a better handle on our daily worries.

Try these techniques to help build resiliency in your day-to-day life!

1. Gain Your Control Back

Practice focusing on the things you can control, and let go of those you cannot. When we are not focused, we are often worrying about the things of the past and of the future. Stop dreading on what was and what ifs. You’ll notice that when you start to gain control, things affecting you will seem a little less frightening and overwhelming than they did before.

2. Keep Things in Perspective

Maybe these things are temporary, situational, accidental, or simply a coincidence. Practice looking at the small things relative to the big picture. Ask yourself:

• Is this going to matter in five minutes, five hours, five days, five months, five years?
• What would your best friend or spouse say about this?
• Does someone or something else more important require my energy more than this?
• What is going well right now? Is there something more exciting I can attend to?

Practice being intentional and rational in your thoughts while considering your long-term goals.

3. Exercise

Exercise improves our thinking and mood, and reduces stress and anxiety. Dedicating a few minutes to physical activity in the morning, or taking a ten-minute exercise break during your day, may increase your energy and help you manage your stress quicker. Try incorporating yoga in your exercise routine. Yoga is a practice that teaches us about how we think, how we respond to challenging times, and how we adapt to change. Adaptability promotes your brain to create new connections in times of problem-solving. Ritual practices of yoga promotes brain flexibility that will translate into your real-world endeavours.

4. Practice Goal Visualization

Spend less time on what you fear, and visualize what you want! Start by setting a plan of what you want to happen. Maybe it’s a few words on a sticky note posted in your office, or a list of your annual short-term and long-term goals — just make sure it’s easily visible! Read your desired outcome aloud several times per day. Next, dedicate time to create a mental image of what this looks like to you. When we prepare for success, we gain the confidence necessary to achieve it. The more familiar your brain and body become with these goals, the more likely they are to work to achieve them!

5. Create New Habits

It’s important to take care of yourself among life’s tragedies, hardships, losses, and stresses. Make time for things that bring you excitement and pleasure. Try a new hobby, partake in an activity you once enjoyed, explore a new friendship, help someone by being their mentor. Self-care helps us prime our brains for challenging situations. Schedule time in your day for yourself as you would for a work meeting or lunch date with a friend. During this time, check-in with yourself and remember that today is a new day to listen to your body, pursue your goals, learn from adversity, and be a role model!

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Before you go to bed, you might run through your list of things to do the next day. You might review your daily tasks and accomplishments. But how often do you think about how well you have taken care of yourself that day? Ask yourself right now: Have I loved myself today? You are so good at loving everyone else, but have you loved yourself?

On a flight, in case of emergency, we are told to put on our own oxygen mask first. If you don’t take care of yourself, you will be unable to take care of others.

Have you loved yourself today? Find a way to invest in yourself. What do you need to feel happy loved and emotional safe?

What does love look like?

Setting boundaries with others.

Getting enough sleep.

Taking a break.

Giving yourself permission to make mistakes.

Taking a long bubble bath.

Having a spa day.

Looking at yourself in the mirror and liking what you see.

Just be aware that a lot of us have negative self-talk. We are hard on ourselves about the things we didn’t do. Try shifting your focus to all the things you accomplish, and everything you do. Pat yourself on the back. Love yourself for who you are, right now, with whatever imperfections you might have.

Remember, before going to sleep at night, ask:

Did i love myself today? If the answer is no plan to love yourself tomorrow. Write it down next to your bed so you see it when you wake up. Taking care of yourself is the first step in feeling at ease, happy and truly being able to give love to others.

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